Teasing Terror
by Tragedy's Tears
Summary: Walter goes outside for a smoke to relax a little bit. Will he get his well deserved moment of peace? Dawn era.


A/N: This is just something that popped into my head when I was thinking about Alucard's powers. Enjoy! ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing.

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**Teasing Terror**

It was night time and Walter C. Dornez decided he would smoke one more cigarette before turning in for the night. After all being England's undead hunting organization 's thrash-man was a very stressful job indeed. And so Walter would relieve that stress by smoking a good, old coffin nail.

"Finally I have a moment of peace without that blasted Vampire trying to get on my nerves." Walter thought as he got out his last cigarette and started to roll it between his fingers. It wasn't like Walter disliked the Nosferatu. It was quite the opposite. It was just that, to Walter, Alucard's games could become... tiresome after a while. To say the least. Walter sighed. "Maybe I'm just overreacting." he thought. Walter looked at the full moon while still rolling his last remaining cigarette gently between his fingers.

"When I was your age it was considered inappropriate to touch a girl without her permission."

Startled, Walter looked around in an attempt to find the person to whom that all too familiar voice belonged to.

"Alright, Alucard. Where are you? And what do you mean by _that_?" Walter demanded. But she didn't reply. Not even a whisper. "Great... Just great. You've finally gone mad and now you hear _her _voice when she's not even around." he mumbled as he moved his hand to put the cigarette in between his lips.

"Don't worry, dear Angel. You aren't mad. But you are however **very** straightforward."

This time her voice sounded like she was closer to Walter. By now the Angel of Death was becoming a tad irritated and he held his cigarette a little further from his mouth so he could speak.

"Where are you?"

Walter could hear the Vampire giggle and **that** was _never_ a good thing.

"Down here."

Walter looked down and because of his training he spotted something regular people wouldn't: two, tiny, red dots.

"No, no, no! I'm just imagining things. She... She wouldn't actually..." the Shinigami muttered as he could feel the sense of dread begin to creep up his spine.

Walter was staring at the filter of his cigarette. Well, he was staring at the pair of glowing red eyes and the toothy grin to be precise.

""That's where you're mistaken... **I** would." the "cigarette" said and giggled loudly.

"Bloody Hell!" Walter exclaimed as he let the "disguised" Vampire fall to the ground. But right before the "cigarette" hit the cold ground "it" changed back into "it's" original form: a young, raven haired girl. Correction: a giggling, young, raven haired girl.

Oh yes, Alucard was very amused by Walter's shocked expression.

"Now really, Walter. A proper Englishman such as yourself shouldn't let his mouth hang open like that." the girl said as she lifted his jaw and closed his mouth for him while trying to hold back another fit of girlish giggles. Walter gritted his teeth as he felt his anger build up inside him.

"Alucard?"

"Yes, my dear Angel?"

"Where is my last, bloody cigarette?!"

After letting out another burst of giggles Alucard held up said cigarette in front of Walter and asked: "Oh, you mean this one?" The Angel of Death didn't even reply and instead tried to snatch it out of the girl's gloved hand. Unfortunately for Walter, her Vampire enhanced reflexes prevented him from doing so as she pulled her hand back.

"Forgive me, Walter. But I couldn't possibly allow you to slowly kill yourself. Those horrid cigarettes do cause lung cancer, you know." Alucard said with a huge grin plastered to her pale face.

"Alucard, I'm warning you. If you don't..." Walter started but the Nosferatu cut him off: "Well, for just this once, I think I could persuaded to... turn the other cheek."

The grinning girl leaned forward slightly and offered him her cheek as she held the cigarette safely behind her back.

"Just think about the taste of that last coffin nail, Walter. Just think about that and this awful deed will be over sooner than you'll know it." Walter thought as he closed his eyes and leaned in so he could kiss her cheek.

The subtle sound of a cigarette snapping in half made him open his eyes and Walter noticed that he was looking straight into Alucard's eyes but most importantly that he was kissing her right on the lips!

"Oops... I think I lost myself in that moment of passion. I couldn't help it. It seems my whole body just tensed up." the girl said as she pulled back. Walter might have thought she was being sincere... If she wouldn't have been grinning like a maniac.

Walter's face flushed but not because Alucard tricked him into kissing her. Oh, no. Walter's face flushed because he was angry. Walter was angry because she ruined his last remaining cigarette.

"You..."

Alucard took back a few steps as she saw the Shinigami's wires twinkle maliciously in the moonlight.

"You..."

"Try to be reasonable, Walter. You have to understand I only did it for your own good."

A giggling Alucard turned on her heels and ran off while an enraged Angel of Death started to chase her.

"You bloody, shape-shifting Vampire!"


End file.
